Jail wouldn't be so bad if your cellmate was Dallas Dixon. Just pause to reflect on all the things you could do with Dallas' giant naturals. You wouldn't need a television or a computer. You wouldn't need books or games. All you'd really need would be a decent supply of Wett Lube for fucking her tits day and night. Oh, yeah, Dallas would need a box of sexy clothes that she would model for you. This might be the only jail sentence you'd want extended with no possibility of parole because we can't see ever getting tired of those massive kowabungas. A guy who tried a cheesy pick-up line on Dallas actually said it best: "God must have taken his time when he created you."
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